Baby, I'm coming back!

It’s time I get back to music, but this time on my own terms. Don't you think?

I’m starting slow.

I don’t want to do too much at once.

I don’t want to burnout.

And I don’t want to get to the point where I’m not enjoying it again.

Over the past 7 months I’ve found joy in the day to day more than I was doing so before.

I’ve figured out the things that are important to me and I don’t want to forget about them as I re-introduce music as a career into my life.

Well, actually, I don’t want to be thinking of ‘music as a career’, it’s more like re-introudicing the active pursuit of something that brings me joy, fulfilment, and songs that I am proud of.

I have so many things that I want to share; words that have been just my own for a while now, and it’s about time they deserved to be heard by more than just myself.

I sometimes think this sounds so self-centred.

“Oh look at how I’m feeling and listen to all my thoughts’.

Why is it that I believe my feelings should be shared when there are so many other people who have much more profound and impactful thoughts.

I don’t have an answer. 🤷‍♀️

And if I think about it too much it may make me feel guilty about attempting to garner attention for my music so... let’s just move on.

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I’ve just turned 24.

As you probably know, I’m prone to nostalgia, and having a birthday in January only exacerbates the consideration of the past, present, and future that is so common around the new year.

I’m in a completely different position now to where I thought I would be.

I set myself 4 goals at the start of 2022:

• Write 50 songs

• Take part in 50 songwriting sessions

• Release an EP

• Do 10 live performances

I achieved none of these things.

I actually wrote less songs in the second half of 2022 than I have for several years.

However, the things I have accomplished have been much more needed - I feel more sure in myself and confident in how to manage my goals & setting expectations so that I don’t burnout.

Every day this year, just like I have every year since 2016, I have been taking videos and compiling them.

1 second for every day of the year.

I always love watching this back to see how much has changed, and it reminds that I can never anticipate how life is going to turn out.

If you have any interest in seeing my 1 second video for 2022 click below

On a slightly unrelated note, I’ve got a couple of things I want to share from this year so far.

I’ve been to Iceland (amazing)

Had way too much free wine (and took off way too many clothes) at my staff party

And had a Sandra Bullock theme birthday party

Here’s some pics:

Staff Party (before I took too many clothes off), London

The best mushroom wellington I've ever had, Reykjavik

My first day of being 24, Sky Lagoon, Reykjavik

Thank you Aurora Borealis, Iceland

Mary Magdelane Horowitz (Sandra Bullock), All About Steve

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Now for the actually exciting part. Yes I am coming back!

As in, I’m coming back to Twitch to start streaming again.

(Imagine if I was already coming back to instagram, now that would be embarrassing.)

As I’ve said, Twitch is the only platform I’ve found that works for me. It allows me to connect with people all around the world, doesn’t distract me/make me feel bad, AND it motivates me to work on my music at the same time.

So from Monday 6th February I am going to be streaming every week 2:30pm-5:30pm (UK time).

It’s been a while since I’ve written any songs so I’m going to start off with a bit of a songwriting sprint. In 3 hours I’ll be writing 3 songs, 45 minutes for each one.

No, they almost certainly won’t be completed in that time but it will create a good amount of ideas, and allow me to return to my favourites to expand on.

If you don’t already, make sure you follow me on Twitch and set your alarms for Monday 6th February 2:30pm (UK)

follow me on twitch

(I’m slightly terrified I have forgotten how to stream/write songs so wish me luck)

See you soon

Joe x

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How To Enjoy Life (& anti-hero cover)

Hey there

Firstly I just wanted to say thank you for signing up to this mailing list and supporting me in my social media free life, I do appreciate it (if you haven't signed up already, you can do here)

(by the way, there's a Taylor Swift cover at the end of this post)

It was funny, you know, when I had social media for those few days that I was spamming everyone to let you know that I was leaving, I felt so different.

For the past few months I haven't been on it anyway but all it took was half a day of having instagram back again to impact my mood so much.

My screen time increased drastically and I just felt generally more sluggish and unmotivated to do anything.

Honestly though there was one thing that was tempting me to stay on social media, there was quite a few of you that were admitting that you were being tempted to get rid of it too.

For half a second I was imaging myself as this anti-social media campaigner trying to rally people to delete all of the apps of their phones.

Ant then I realised that would mean I'd have to be on it myself all the time, so that's a no go.

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At some point earlier this year I was doubting if I actually wanted music to be my career or if I had just convinced myself for so long that it was what I wanted that I felt like I had to do it.

I was working part-time and then on all my days off I would have these big plans for my music but most of the time I wouldn't get anything done and then feel incredibly guilty about it.

I realised I wasn't actually enjoying it, and everything I was writing was just about how I have no idea what I'm doing in life.

I went for lunch with one of my songwriter friends and she told me that it's important to make sure that I'm living more than I'm writing and it made me realise that I wasn't really doing anything except from my part-time job and being sat at home trying to write songs.

So I just stopped.

I started working full time and just told myself that I didn't need to anything music related, and to just enjoy life more (I started calling this my 'chaos era' as I've been urging myself to make the not-so sensible choices, because that's what your 20s are for, right?).

I've watched the sunrise over London with people I'd just met.

I've been staying out much longer than I should've been the nights before I'm working.

I've been on some dates.

I went on a 4 day holiday by myself and made friends.

Here's some proof:

London, 4:29 am

Pride, Cardiff

Lanzarote, November

I always kind of thought that the most important thing in life was having an ambition and working towards achieving it. And although I still thing that's good, it means so much to make sure that you are having fun in your day-to-day.

Life is made up of days so you need to try and find enjoyment in most of them.

Having this time off from the pressure I was putting myself under has made me realise I do want to spend my life writing songs. The urge to write has slowly been returning over these past months and I have songs that I love that I want more people to hear.

And now I've actually got stories that I can write about. I feel like part of me now is just going through life collecting these experiences mostly as material for songs, and honestly it's great fun.

I'm easing myself back into it, cautious about the burnout and lack of motivation I've experienced before, but I'm excited.

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I was recently playing around with a cover of Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero, so here it is:

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