How To Enjoy Life (& anti-hero cover)

Hey there

Firstly I just wanted to say thank you for signing up to this mailing list and supporting me in my social media free life, I do appreciate it (if you haven't signed up already, you can do here)

(by the way, there's a Taylor Swift cover at the end of this post)

It was funny, you know, when I had social media for those few days that I was spamming everyone to let you know that I was leaving, I felt so different.

For the past few months I haven't been on it anyway but all it took was half a day of having instagram back again to impact my mood so much.

My screen time increased drastically and I just felt generally more sluggish and unmotivated to do anything.

Honestly though there was one thing that was tempting me to stay on social media, there was quite a few of you that were admitting that you were being tempted to get rid of it too.

For half a second I was imaging myself as this anti-social media campaigner trying to rally people to delete all of the apps of their phones.

Ant then I realised that would mean I'd have to be on it myself all the time, so that's a no go.

At some point earlier this year I was doubting if I actually wanted music to be my career or if I had just convinced myself for so long that it was what I wanted that I felt like I had to do it.

I was working part-time and then on all my days off I would have these big plans for my music but most of the time I wouldn't get anything done and then feel incredibly guilty about it.

I realised I wasn't actually enjoying it, and everything I was writing was just about how I have no idea what I'm doing in life.

I went for lunch with one of my songwriter friends and she told me that it's important to make sure that I'm living more than I'm writing and it made me realise that I wasn't really doing anything except from my part-time job and being sat at home trying to write songs.

So I just stopped.

I started working full time and just told myself that I didn't need to anything music related, and to just enjoy life more (I started calling this my 'chaos era' as I've been urging myself to make the not-so sensible choices, because that's what your 20s are for, right?).

I've watched the sunrise over London with people I'd just met.

I've been staying out much longer than I should've been the nights before I'm working.

I've been on some dates.

I went on a 4 day holiday by myself and made friends.

Here's some proof:

London, 4:29 am

Pride, Cardiff

Lanzarote, November

I always kind of thought that the most important thing in life was having an ambition and working towards achieving it. And although I still thing that's good, it means so much to make sure that you are having fun in your day-to-day.

Life is made up of days so you need to try and find enjoyment in most of them.

Having this time off from the pressure I was putting myself under has made me realise I do want to spend my life writing songs. The urge to write has slowly been returning over these past months and I have songs that I love that I want more people to hear.

And now I've actually got stories that I can write about. I feel like part of me now is just going through life collecting these experiences mostly as material for songs, and honestly it's great fun.

I'm easing myself back into it, cautious about the burnout and lack of motivation I've experienced before, but I'm excited.

I was recently playing around with a cover of Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero, so here it is:

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