We are so small, how do we find purpose?

This one is longish and covers several things so here's a quick contents:

1 - My Thoughts On Instagram So Far

2 - Life. We Are So Tiny. Make The Most Of It.

3 - News

4 - What I've Been Doing

My Thoughts On Instagram So Far

Ever since I’ve been back on Instagram I’ve been struggling to figure out the purpose of this mailing list here.

Instagram has been fun so far, and it’s been great hearing people’s thoughts on my slightly strange approach to it.

If you’ve not seen anything, I’ve been posting very infrequently, but they are loooong and in-depth, so similar to what these emails usually are.

After having 18 months off from social media I didn’t want to come back into the old habits that I used to have.

So I don’t have Instagram on my phone, I only check it once a week, on my laptop, when I have to unlock the parental restrictions that prevent me from going on it whenever I want.

(Yes I am like a child, I found if don’t take these somewhat extreme steps I will find myself scrolling the hours away without noticing).

So much of what I know some people don’t like about social media is the appearance of people’s perfect lifestyles.

I’m trying my very hardest to portray a full, complete version of myself.

It’s strange telling people about the not-so-good parts of my life but I’m hoping that it makes things easier.

I’ve known moments in the past where I’ve felt shit myself and then seen someone on Instagram who appears to be doing everything that I want to be doing without a single issue.

So even though there are times when life is going great, I still want to share the moments of difficulty.

Another thing, people post so much content, and I know I used to find it overwhelming.

I spent 2 months in 2021 committing myself to TikTok, I think I posted 3 times a day almost every day.

Not only did it make me exhausted and feel awful, but I’m certain the quality of what I was producing was so much worse.

I don’t want to be a content machine that is just churning out tidbits of entertainment that feed the algorithm.

I want to share myself with real people and create something that is engaging, interesting, entertaining and maybe educational.

I’ve been sharing the highlights, the shadows, the things I’ve learned, and the things that have been inspiring me.

My music is an amalgamation of everything that I experience in life, and I want to give people an insight into how a lot of this manifests.

But I don’t want to abandon this mailing list here because I love having newsletters from my favourite artists, it feels more personal.

So I think for now this is going to be more of an overarching ramble of larger aspects of life that I’ve been feeling.

If you want to hear about the nitty gritty stuff of things then my very occasional Instagram posts are the place for you.

Click here girl

Life. We Are So Tiny. Make The Most Of It.

More and more lately I feel like I’m connected to something bigger.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve found myself increasingly interested in the concept of connecting and appreciating nature as a way to slow down.

I’ve been feeling more peaceful about everything and I am so content that everything will be fine.

This sense of there being something bigger outside of me is allowing me to just chill out, nothing is a big deal, and in the grand scheme of things, it’s never that serious.

Yes, maybe I’m sounding a bit religiony or too spiritual for you but if that’s what it is then fine.

I just feel like the universe is so huge, the world is so big, and time expands forever before we existed, after we will exist, and we really are such a tiny part of everything.

Sometimes this train of thought can lead to a big existential crisis (which by now you know I’m prone to) but lately, I’ve been seeing it as a blessing.

Our time is so short, and we are so tiny, but that doesn’t make things less important.

This is still our 1 and only life, and no matter how tiny it is in comparison to everything that surrounds it, it is the only thing that we will ever have, so we sure as hell need to make the most of it.

That doesn’t mean I need to run myself into the ground trying to do everything I can think of.

Yes, a couple of years ago this was what I thought but now I know from experience that this doesn’t end well.

The best way for me to make sure I enjoy this life is to look after myself, take things slower, and appreciate the day-to-day experience of living.

Let myself wallow when things aren’t good, but know that it will get better and allow myself to sit with my feelings.

And when things are amazing, absorb myself into that feeling, let myself sink into it as much as possible, but also know that it won’t be like that forever.

The short-lived nature of experiences makes me cherish them more, for the good or the bad.

Last year I wrote a song that I love so much and will eventually release (not too soon) called No Heaven On Earth.

It’s a song about loving life to its fullest.

It’s so easy to wish our days away and dream of the life that is just around the corner, but if that’s all we do, then before we know it we have wished our entire life away.

Life is so great because of its variety, sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s worse, but I wouldn’t change it for all that it’s worth.

I want to sink into the sea and feel the sun on my skin.

I want to spend the evenings with my friends laughing about nothing in particular.

I want to see the morning sky as I’m hiking up a mountain.

I want to scream my voice raw as I’m dancing in the middle of a crowd, drenched in strangers' sweat.

I want to sit around the table with my loved ones and slowly enjoy a delicious dinner.

I want to walk along the sand, feeling the warm grains in between my toes.

I know to get to experience these things there will be others that I’d rather not experience along the way.

But everything is an opportunity to learn and to grow and I’m ready to embrace it all.

I don’t know what my life has in store for me.

I don’t know where I will be this time next year, or in 5, 10, or 20 years.

I’ve got my plans, but we all know that plans never go accordingly and so I don’t expect to be there.

I don’t know how this whole music career will turn out, but right now it’s part of my dream and you know I’m going to give it my all.

There’s something exciting about the unknown.

And yes, it’s also terrifying, but the amount of opportunity is thrilling.

Would you rather have the rest of your life open with endless chances ahead of you, or would you want to know exactly what you will be doing at any point for the remainder of your life?

Yes, maybe there’s stability, but how interesting is that going to be if you knew what was going to happen?

Get me on that rollercoaster NOW and no matter how much I scream, deep down I don’t want to get off.

There may be tears down my face, but the wind will be in my hair.

Maybe I’m crying from fear, or maybe I’m crying of laughter, either way, I’m feeling everything as much as possible.

Okay, I think I’ve rambled enough now.